Transcript of a recent conversation with a patient:
"Do you have any chest pain?"
"No. Not pain as such. It just hurts."
"Have you ever had any heart problems?"
"No. Never. Had a heart attack once, but never any problems."
"When was the last time you had an ECG?"
"An ECG? I've never had one. But they did check my heart last month with all those sticky labels on my chest."
"Have you ever had palpitations?"
"Never. Every so often I feel like my heart wants to jump out my chest, though."
"Any other medical conditions?"
"No, no. Take medicine for blood pressure and diabetes, but no medical conditions."
Patients are from Venus. Well, some of them, anyway.