I know that you turn the ignition to start them, and turn the key the other way to turn them off.
I know what most of the controls do - which pedal does what and how far to turn the steering wheel.
I can, if needed, change a tyre.
Recently, I even ventured as far as changing a headlight bulb. If you own the same car I do, you would understand my sense of achievement.
But when it comes to cars going mechanically wrong, I have no idea where to start.
I have no idea what a cam belt looks like, or how many extra holes it would need if the car lost weight.
I have no idea what a clutch looks like. Then again, most Americans don't actually know what a clutch is.
Not a good thing at all.